Gundam Wing at the Carnival
by Vampire Goddess Eve
Summary: Lets see what happens when our favorite five boys get to the carnival! WARNING: MAJOR BASHING!!!


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.though I would absolutely LOVE to own Heero!!! ;P  
  
A Day at a Carnival with the Pilots  
  
"Hey, guys!" Duo shouted into the dining room of Quatre's, were the boys were staying. "Check out this flier!" He waved it in their faces and accidentally shoved Wufei's face into his pancakes.  
  
Heero snatched the flier from Duo and read aloud, unemotionally, "Come one, come all, to the most fantastic carnival ever."  
  
"Ahhh. Gimme that!" Duo said, taking the flier back from Heero. "Here, Trowa, you read it. You hang out at the circus and should know how to read it, excitedly."  
  
Trowa took it and spoke for the first time in weeks, "Come one! Come all! To the most fantastic carnival, ever to appear! Rides, games, and prizes! Fun, fun, fun for all ages! Only $10 for children and $20 for adults! Senior citizen admitted at only $30! So, why don't you come and have a ball, at the carnival! We can be found at the empty lot on Main Street, in the Ghetto."  
  
Everyone stared at him, as he silently sat back down, then applause broke out.  
  
"Way to go!" "Yeah!" "Go, Trowa, it's your birthday!" "Yeeha!"  
  
"I've never heard so much emotion," Quatre said, wiping his eyes on the tablecloth.  
  
"So. Can we go?" Duo asked.  
  
"Weak carnival," replied Wufei.  
  
"Sounds dumb to me," said Heero.  
  
"If Duo wants to go, then we should all respect his choice and accompany him," said Quartre.  
  
Trowa said, "."  
  
"All right! CHA CHING!" screeched Duo.  
  
So, right after breakfast, Quatre, Dou, and Trowa somehow managed to get Heero and the "Wu-man" into the car. Then, they set off to find the carnival.  
  
After about two hours of driving, Duo pointed out an exit sign to Trowa, who happened to be driving, "Look, Exit 666! What's it say under it?" He squinted and read, "This way to the Ghetto. Cool! This is our exit!"  
  
Trowa turned off of the highway and their tire instantly popped of a piece of broken glass. Heero got out to fix it.  
  
"Hey! Where's the spare?" He called to them.  
  
"Oh, I forgot! I put it on my Gundam." Replied Duo.  
  
"You #@%&$@# %$#@%&#!"  
  
"I guess we'll just have to walk." Said Quatre.  
  
"You idiot!" said Duo. "You want to WALK through the GHETTO!"  
  
"Weaklings. Cowards." Said Wufei.  
  
Insulted, Duo got out of the car and began walking, "Are you coming?"  
  
The rest hurried to catch up. They walked as close together as they could as they watched little kids smoking weed on the steps to crappy houses and saw one newborn knife cut another. Soon, they had a gang of first graders following them.  
  
The gang forced them into an alley at gunpoint.  
  
"Now," said a little, dirty, scrubby, blonde-haired boy in an icy voice, "Give us everything you've got."  
  
"Violence is not the answer!" said Quatre.  
  
"Weaklings! Cowards! Injustice! Nataku!" yelled Wufei.  
  
"." said Trowa  
  
"Take everything!" screeched Duo. "Just don't hurt my braid!"  
  
"Take this." Said Heero, soullessly, as he shot each one of the little kids between the eyes.  
  
"They never even got to live," Quatre said crying. "They were just babies. We'll never know how they would have turned out." Then he began crying uncontrollably.  
  
"Look on the bright side, Quatre," said Duo, sympathetically, "they didn't touch my braid."  
  
They walked on, Heero and Wufei killing anyone who began to follow them or even looked suspicious, including an old man, sleeping in a box on the sidewalk. Soon, they found the carnival.  
  
They each paid their $20, except for Heero and Wufei, who stole their from Trowa and gave it to the carnie at the gate. The first thing Duo saw was the Ferris Wheel.  
  
"Guys, let's go on that one first!" He sounded just like a whiny little kid.  
  
"Looks like a super cheap carnival to me." Said Heero.  
  
"Yeah." Said Trowa.  
  
"Look, the only ride is the Ferris Wheel! And look at the cheap prizes." Heero said, looking at a "Knock-Down-the-Milk-Bottles-and-Win-A- Prize" booth. It had cheesy little photos of clowns and Ferris Wheel key chains.  
  
"This booth's prizes aren't so bad." Quatre said, pointing to a Pick- The-Shell-And-Win-A-Prize booth. All of the boys looked to see foaming mugs of beer behind the carnie, as prizes.  
  
They all ran over, except for Duo, "I wanna go on that!"  
  
"Fine," they all said and sent Wufei on it with him. But, when they reached the top, it got stuck. All of the boys left on the ground laughed.  
  
"We won't be able to get you down for four hours!" said the carnival manager, "The man who operates this machine went on a break!"  
  
"HA! HA!" laughed Heero. "That gets rid of two whackos, for now!"  
  
They went over to the shell booth. They played five times, but nobody won, and they wasted $50, it was $10 a try.  
  
They tried all of the booths that had alcoholic prizes, vodka, rum, wine, and tequila. They soon became very fed up and Heero was almost to a point were he would shoot all carnies. Then, they stumbled onto a hidden booth. This one would be easy. It was a Guess-The-Primary-Color-And-Win booth, and this one had shots of plain alcohol as prizes.  
  
Quatre went first. He won, drank his shot and fell over asleep, drunk out of his mind. Then, Trowa tried. It took two shots to get him down. Next went Heero, my hero. He would not fall over.  
  
After about his twelfth win, the carnie asked, "How can you consume so much alcohol and not be drunk?"  
  
"I am drunk," he replied. "I just never show my feelings. In my world, drunkenness is a feeling."  
  
"Oh. well, I'm sorry, but I can't let you play anymore. Only a dozen prizes per customer, and anyway, your friends are waking up."  
  
"They aren't my friends. I have no friends. Friends are weak! Oh no! Now I sound like Wufei! Eek! I take it back! Friends are not weak! I just don't like friends is all."  
  
Then, Quatre and Trowa woke up and puked.  
  
"My head hurts," said Quatre. "I have the biggest hang over this century!"  
  
Then, it seemed as if Trowa was still drunk and being drunk made him talk a lot, "OhmygodmyheadhurtssoooobadIwannagohomewhereiseveryoneIdon'tseeDuoortheWu- manandImissthemIwannamakewildpassionatelovetoyouQuatreIloveyousomuchyouareth eloveofmylife!"  
  
(TRANSLATION: Oh, my God! My head hurts soooo bad! I wanna go home! Where is everyone? I don't see Duo or the Wu-man and I miss them! I wanna make wild, passionate love to you Quatre! I love you so much! You are the love of my life!)  
  
They went back to see if Duo and Wufei were down yet. They arrived just in time to see the cheap, piece of crap ride, break and fall, with Wufei and Duo at the top. Heero pulled out his gun and went over to the man now back at the controls and shot him.  
  
"Why'd you do that?" asked Quatre.  
  
"I've gone too long without killing anyone, while I waited for you two to wake up."  
  
Trowa had somehow overcome his drunkenness and run into the pile of rubble, searching for Duo and Wufei. He found them, under the seat they had been in. Both had peed their pants. This was worse for Wufei, who was wearing his usual white ones, because they now had a big yellow stain, right in the crotch.  
  
They decided it was time to go home, so they had Heero highjack a passing car, which no one would question, because they were in the ghetto, rode out to their car, stole one of the already stolen cars tires, fixed their car and went back home, Trowa, still drunk, yapping all the way, but soon, the rest of the boys just ignored him.  
  
They got back to Quatre's mansion and went to sleep, all except Wufei, who got a shower and bleached his pants first. Duo just slept in his nasty, wet pants.  
  
The next day, while everyone was eating breakfast and, in the cases of Quatre, Trowa and Heero, trying to over come their hangovers, when Duo came running in with a flier.  
  
"Hey guys look at this! The circus is coming!" Trowa's eyes lit up. "Here, Trowa, you read it!"  
  
Trowa shook his head, and said, in sign language, "I used up my word supply for ten years last night. I can't talk for a decade, now."  
  
"O.K., I'll read it then!" said Duo. "Come one, come all! To the most fantastic circus."  
  
It was at this time that Heero tore the stupid flier from his hands and shot it into oblivion.  
  
"Now, Heero," said Quatre, "if Duo wants to go, we should all respect his choice and go."  
  
"Respect this!" Heero said and shot him. "No more stupid flier things!"  
  
THE END 


End file.
